08: October 2015 #11 - Love Story
Authored by Heather Stai
by Heather Stai
“I first dipped my tongue into the wet salty cave of the beloved’s mouth, the fury with which I took the others flesh inside me, the hard pits of the first fruit I chewed and sucked.” -- “Roots”, Dorianne Laux 1.) We make love with our eyes open. We’re lit in cigarette embers and candlewicks. You tell me you woke up the day before and looked at me and thought I was so pretty, and you couldn’t understand what I saw in you. I see everything in you. The freckles on your shoulders, the birthmark on your right eyelid, your guitar-callused hand in mine. Promise me that you’ll forgive whatever I may do to you. Promise me that you’ll always understand the bravest thing I ever did was become yours. 2.) I wept in your bed on New Year’s Eve as you slept beside me. You don’t seem to care if I stay or if I go. You are starting to feel more like a habit than a lover. I cried for three hours on that bed, pillows of damp towels and wrinkled dress shirts below me. You awoke to the sound of fireworks at 11:57 pm. The snow fell quiet on your window ledge. You kissed me, morning breath and marijuana lips, you told me you loved me. Like clockwork. I said “I love you, too”; because, unfortunately, I do, and then sometime in January, when being in love with you was as tedious as taking out the garbage, and feeding my cat; sometime in January, I realize I haven’t slept in days. An unbearable weight has been living inside of my chest at night. I was sure that is was the pressure of your heart trying to rip itself free. 3.) You got drunk so fast last night on cheap beer. You looked so handsome in your work clothes. I breathed in the sight of you like bleach. We sat in my car when it started to rain and I asked you to kiss me, because it hurt too much to have nearly forgotten what you taste like. You kissed me at my window while the dirt turned to mud at your feet. You crawled beside me in your sleep and you held me to your chest. I wrung those hours dry, counting the freckles on your throat. Remembering the plump skin of your lips. I memorized every part of you I will never get to touch again. We awoke to the husky dawn and you untangled yourself from me, from the us that we had been and we dusted off our hangovers and pretended to be friends again.