17: April 2017 #11 - Metamorphosis

Authored by Stephanie Falkowski


by Stephanie Falkowski

(What they do tell you):
You will listen to podcast after podcast
Driving in your car, latched onto Jamie’s broken voice
You will watch YouTube video after video
Jotting down ‘What You Need to Do’
You will call person after person, receive text upon text
Of words both said and imprinted into the ether
Trying to somehow capture and store them into your mind’s library
You will spend hours in the bathroom
In the darkest way ever, drained of your light
You will lay on your floor
Cocooned in a blanket, waiting... and waiting… and waiting
You will not eat because of how bad you feel
You will feel bad because you have not eaten
You will go to bed wide awake and wake up asleep
You will get yourself off not because you have to
But because you want to remind yourself of what you possess
You won’t be able to watch certain things but you will look at everything
You will listen to music that makes you cry
Not because “that’s what people do”
But because you want to have a conversation without speaking
You will try to connect with people you’ve never met before
You will go back to places you have been before

(What they don’t tell you):
When you feel the sun on your skin
It will be like feeling it for the first time ever